No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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