i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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