well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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