one word: firstdatebathroomanal
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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