I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Drake has all the answers
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
