my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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