hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize