Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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