That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
