hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
