I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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