his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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