He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
