Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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