Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
