I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
