I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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