Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
