I am midnight drunk by noon
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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