talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
