So drunk its hurt
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
