physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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