I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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