your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
false alarm, still single
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