idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
