Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
