I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
he shaved USA in his pubs
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
