I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
