I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
nutella sex= disaster
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize