If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
