someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Randomize
