I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Randomize
