Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
