Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
