okay pat passed out under dana's car
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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