I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
