I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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