on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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