Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Randomize
