Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
