Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
