so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
