Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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