The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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