What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I don't deserve a penis
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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