love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Randomize
