I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
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