I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
