I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
