okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
