Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
