hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
