My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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