ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
