i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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