I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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