Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
