There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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