they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
and you fell through a lawn chair
We need to get me chipped asap
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
