You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
