i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
it hurts more in the daytime
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
