I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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