I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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