i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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