porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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