is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
