To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
