Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
