you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
