my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize